Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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