Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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