Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
