WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
