end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
