why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
