yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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