I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
