It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
