Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
