Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
