btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
