i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
