a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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