As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
