you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
