i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
