..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
