i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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