corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
