I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
