Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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