Sponge bath it is.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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