So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
