i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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