Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
