Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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