It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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