you turned your livingroom into a bong?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
