Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so let's talk penis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
