i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
