Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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