I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
