Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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