ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
