So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize