the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
