some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
