I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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