At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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