yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
