Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
