Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
