You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
