whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
