You can't motorboat a personality
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
