im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
