So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
