My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
