but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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