why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she smelled like a LAN party
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
