i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
