You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
