mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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