She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
